In the last 11 months or so, things have changed a bit. I had a baby last July. My older daughter started school. Things are so different the second time around. Not better, not worse, just different. Talk about night and day with these two. It's so interesting to see how two little people made from the same two adults can be so drastically different. Every day is an adventure.
My older daughter is my little shadow. The baby merely tolerates me. I give her food, bottles, food, toys, food, and did I mention food? She lets me live there. I'm kidding...about her merely tolerating me, that is. Not about the consuming mass quantities of food. She's a growing girl. Honestly, though, she adores her Dada. Her sister is her favorite, but Dada is a very close second. She loves me too. The smile on her face every morning is living proof of that. But, she tires of my bullshit pretty quickly.
You see, as I said, I'm the parent who is with her the most. I tell her, "No, you cannot climb on that pillow that is meant to block you from crawling under the table and pulling the light off onto your head." "No, you cannot eat tissues." "No, you cannot rip those tissues up and throw them all over the place." The list goes on. Those are the tame things. See, this is Mom's Bullshit. She lets it be known too. Some days, by the time my husband gets home, I feel as though my brain has gone numb. I have the blank stare going.
And don't think my little shadow doesn't contribute to that either. She's reading now. I don't mean just a few sight words either. Oh, no, full-fledged reading...when it's convenient. She loves to ask me how to spell every word she can think of. I love that she loves to read (and write.) It's fantastic. It's something that I always wanted to pass onto her and her sister. Also, with being 6 comes the questions. Oh, sweet mother of God, the questions. Some of them are really deep too. We were listening to Carrie Underwood's Something in the Water (one of her favorites,) and she asked me, "Mommy, what does she mean when she says she was washed in the blood? That's disgusting." I did my best to explain it to her, as I always try to do. That's a pretty deep thing for a 6 year old to comprehend, though.
So, these are my days. Two little crazy people running around and loving life. What struck me tonight, though, was something that came out of left field to me. As I said, we are on vacation. I did the bedtime routine with my older daughter, and came out to find that my husband took the baby into our room to try and get her to sleep. I poked my head in to check on the progress (after hearing her squeal in delight over something...I honestly don't know what, but it's a squeal that I love hearing so much.) I was greeted by my husband's worn out look and her brightly smiling face.
I laughed and asked if he wanted me to take over. He quickly passed her over to me and said that she won't go down for him. She wants to play. So, I took her, snuggled her up tight, sang a couple of songs and just cuddled with her until she fell asleep. That's when it hit me. Sure, Dada is the parent that she may associate with the most fun times. She will choose him over me when it comes to who carries her, or feeds her, etc. But, when it comes to snuggle time, or time to relax and go to sleep, it's Mommy who has that magic touch. I swear, tonight, as he handed a wiggling baby to me, and I scooped her up and positioned her, I felt her little body just relax. It was almost as if she was saying, "This is more like it."
Within minutes, she was sleeping peacefully. I laid her in the pack n play and went back into the living room, where I am now typing this up. My husband often tells me that he doesn't know how I do it. It's just part of the job. One of the best parts, I have to say. My girls don't associate Dada with snuggling and cuddling, and all those things. They come to me. My older daughter often comes into our room on the weekends, climbs up between us and snuggles up to me. When she's had her fill of snuggle time, she then turns to my husband and starts doing whatever she needs to do to get him to wake up and pay attention to her. Often times, it's pretty hilarious to be witness to. When the baby is playing hard and does a face plant (yes, that happens often,) she looks to me first. Dada will come to help too, but it's Mommy that she wants first. That is the part that makes my heart swell and feel overcome with joy.
So, Dada can be Daddy Fun Times all he wants. He can take them to the playground and teach them how to ride bikes, or play t-ball, or whatever sport they play in the future. That's great time for them to spend together. I may have to be the full-time disciplinarian, and relegate the fun times to Dada, but I am also the cuddle parent, and the one that they want to make the boo-boos feel better. I'll make that trade any day of the week.
**Note: My husband always backs up any kind of discipline I give out as well. For example, if the older daughter is being grounded from electronics for the day/week, he always backs me up. When I say full-time disciplinarian, I simply mean that I am the one with them practically 24/7, so I am the one that has to make those decisions on a daily basis. He also disciplines, just not as often, since he is in the office during the week. He's a fantastic dad.
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