I absolutely HATE the saying, "At least you have a man." One day, I took myself out to lunch and couldn't help overhearing a conversation between two women. Obviously one was having issues with her boyfriend or husband, and the other was single. The one was telling her friend how her partner said hurtful things (some of them made me cringe and bite my lip from saying anything to her,) and did some pretty spiteful things just because she didn't agree with him or do what he felt was the "right" thing to do, etc. He sounded borderline abusive. To which her friend replied, and in a rather spiteful voice, "At least you have a man."
I wanted to scream when she said this. So, it's ok for her "man," and yes, I put that in quotes for a reason, to insult her because she doesn't agree with him on a certain topic? It's ok for him to call her names because she didn't line the dishes the right way in the dishwasher? She should be grateful that she has some jerk to call her those things or tell her she's stupid? No, sorry, but that isn't the way it works. Sounds like the attached woman should give the loser to the bitchy single one and see how she likes being mentally abused. See how she would feel when someone told her, "at least you have a man."
A good relationship is built on mutual respect. You don't call each other names or tell someone that they're stupid because they disagree with you. A good relationship is built on trust, good communication and flexibility. Not everyone is going to agree on every single topic. That's just the way it is. It doesn't matter if the next person who comes along is "hot," or not. Beauty fades. It's a matter of finding someone that respects you. That values you for you, differing opinions and fiery temper and all. My husband and I don't agree on everything, but we respect each other's opinions and view points. That is what makes things work.
This brings me to another topic. WHY is is so important for women today to be tied down to a man? Yes, I completely understand that it's nice to have someone there. I really do. I'm married, and most of the time, I like having him around. When I was single, I LIKED being single. Don't get me wrong, there were times when I was single and I felt that it would be nice to have a boyfriend. I didn't have a shortage of guys who wanted to date me, but I never felt it was necessary to be with someone JUST to have a man. I did know plenty of women (and men) who were completely devastated if they didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend, though. I never understood it. If I liked someone enough to go on a date (or more than one date) with them, great, but I wasn't about to just date anyone just to have someone by my side. To me, being single was a fun time. It was a time where I could figure out the things that I liked or didn't like. I could come and go as I pleased without having to check in with someone else. I never felt the need to say, "At least you have a man," because it didn't matter if I had a man. I had plenty of friends, male and female, and I had a blast with them. I wouldn't change a thing about my single days. I valued them. They made me who I am today.
I just don't understand the concept of needing to be in a relationship to feel whole. I definitely don't understand the concept of telling someone that it's ok for a "man" to be abusive in a relationship and to basically say to tough it out because hey, it's a warm body to kiss, hug, snuggle, whatever with. I was in a relationship once where he would say nasty things to me. I was young and thought if I just loved him enough, he'll change. We had a blast when we went out. He was the life of the party. However, when we were by ourselves, he would call me names or make fun of the big words I would use. After a while, I woke up and realized that this asshole isn't going to change, so I broke up with him and moved on. I had a couple of relationship that weren't ideal, but I woke up and realized it in my own time.
What I'm trying to say is, WAKE UP, PEOPLE! Life is way too short to be concerned about the next relationship to come by. Enjoy your time before you settle down. I always said that I needed to be a "me" before I became part of a "we." I needed to find what lights me up inside, what I like and don't like. I did just that and I'm glad that I did.
Life has a way of working itself out and what is meant to be will be in time. Go out and live the life you were given. Go explore another city, or better yet, country, before you settle down, or even after if you happen to find your other half and you both enjoy traveling. Go out and drink your way through Epcot, or camp out at the Grand Canyon. Go climb Mount Rushmore if you want. Stand on top of a volcano (not one that's erupting though, I don't recommend that.) My favorite thing to do when traveling is to just submerse myself in what is around. Throw out the map (like I use it anyway) and ask the locals for a great place to eat. wander down side streets and see the beauty that is hidden from view if you're just going through the regular old touristy places. Wander...even if it is just in your own home city. You might just find something you missed before, and who knows? You might just find something that ignites something inside you.
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